Tuesday, April 7

How To Get What You Want

If you hear yourself saying statements like: "I was trying to tell him...but he just wouldn't listen", then know that you were not being direct. If you have assumptions like, "everyone knows that if I do this they should do that". Or assumptions that the other person would "do the right thing" or would "know what to do", but they don't, then know that you need to speak about your needs/wants directly.

So many women are resentful at people because "people" have let them down or disappointed them. However, when I have them to talk more about it, they have never truly communicated what they wanted.

You must open your eyes, grow up, come to an understanding, take responsibility...whatever you want to call it...stop living in your world and realize that everyone comes from a different place, a different background, a different mindset, different relationships. When dealing with a good majority of people always assume that there are no set standards and be willing to express your wants and needs. Express them directly. Express them often.

How can they "let you down" when they only had a vague understanding of what you expected from them? Their vague understanding was based solely on their interepration of your relationship and their experiences with other people in similar relationships.

Now, of course, there are many cavaets to this. Some people are stuck on selfish and they aren't trying to give you what you need. Some aren't obligated to give you what you need. Some are incapable of giving you what you need. Assess the situation.

Because, if you have a need you have the right to respectfully express it to anyone you choose.

But remember you are OBLIGATED to express it DIRECTLY, TRUTHFULLY and CANDIDLY. If you don't then save your anger and resentment for another occasion with another person.

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